my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ladies don't puke and tell
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