I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
