so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
