don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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