the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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