he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
