Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think I won the penis lottery.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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