Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
