We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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