Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
