i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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