This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
