he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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