Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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