I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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