On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
