You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
