either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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