I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
