btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
