Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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