try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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