Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
