when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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