she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
