i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
