I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
