Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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