You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
