Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
