I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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