I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
