Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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