I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
