I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
