I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she peed on how many people?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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