Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
