I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
