i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
