Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
