I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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