ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
