The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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