what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
vagina is talking i cant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
