Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
