Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
