like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
