I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
