then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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