My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
